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Lavrenty Beria, The Patron Saint of Unbillable Hours

Pops nails the logic behind the Honda Element's Soviet ideal:

The CRV and the Element offer an amazing amount of headroom which is important to our respective lifestyles. Suzette needs the space [of a CRV] so she can continue to set the example of how big hair should look. Our Attorney and me need to space so we can Warsaw Pact it up a bit. He needs the headroom so that he can pretend he's flying a Soviet HIND attack 'copter. I need the room so I wear the Soviet naval officer's ushanka [see Pops' site for sartorial details] ...  I'm demanding for Christmas.

This way Our Attorney can pretend he's coming down from the skies to crush imperialism. Meanwhile I can pretend to quietly patrol the other edges of the schoolyard hoping that I can remove the iron (high) heel of the running lackey dog, Sally Foster, from the neck of the mommietariat. Either way the two of us get to spend the holidays getting in touch with the Jungian warrior archetype while you strain to remember what brand of cologne your brother-in-law likes.

And all the while Suzette gets to have fabulous hair

Remember kids,

велемудро знать язык противников one's, нет?

I'll leave the refinements of the CRV to the ball gown-wearing crowd.

Comments

[pops]

You know if you fold the Element's back seats up you could probably just throw one of those Mini Coopers through the hatch.

[Suzette]

You know, the floor of the cargo compartment on the CRV pulls out and reveals itself to be a folding picinic table. That would come in handy in case you had to spend some time waiting around for a bread line or a sale on babushkas.

[bicyclemark]

Ewww. Beria.. the creepy pervert of all creepy perverts in history.