Blawger Bowl, Week #2: Daddy Drinks Because Football Makes Him Cry

Pops is dead, they say. Long live Pops.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is not your poorly thought out Sunday piece. This is Blawger Bowl.

"Thunderdome? I thought we were going to Giants Stadium."

Patently Obviousv. Bizz Bang Buzz.
Patently Obvious: 101
Bizz Bang Buzz: 44

Last week, Bizz Bang Buzz was kind enough to host the inaugural week of the Blawger Bowl update. This week, Bizz suffered an unholy trouncing at the hands of Patently Obvious. For a while, Bizz and I were in the midst of a "race to the bottom" (that's for all you legal theory geeks out there; me? I can't even spell formalism).

Bizz won the race.

"No, Mr. Cerminaro, Marbury was not the town where Barney Fife lived."

Loosely Coupled v. Libertarians
Loosely Coupled: 102
Libertarians: 88

In Week #1 of Blawger Bowl, I beat Loosely Coupled like Joel Steinberg.... oh man, even I can't make that joke. It must have been first week jitters for L.C., though, because he smacked around Stephen Kinsella's Libertarians like he was Ike Turner.

"Remember, kids, if they're offended, you know they're listening."

Ernie the Attorney v. Ernest Miller's 'The Importance Of...'
Ernie the Attorney: 102
The Importance Of...: 77

Last week, Ernie the Attorney, a Big Easy classic amongst us blawgers, scored a respectable 90 points. Unfortunately, Stephen Kinsella's Libertarians scored a preposterous 125 in their season opener. This week?

Ernie v. Ernest:
The battle of the guys with the identical names.

"Mommy's leaving daddy because he wore a dress in one of his movies and liked it."

Even Hurricane Ivan couldn't stop Ernie, who wasn't phased by last week's loss.

Ernest proved that you can use a dangling participle in your blog title.

Invent Blog v. CRC's Inducers.
Invent Blog: 93
CRC's Inducers: 66

Stephen Nipper runs Invent Blog, which involves patents or something (actually, it's a good resource for many areas of intellectual property law). Chris Rush Cohen is an intellectual property lawyer from New York.

That's right folks. This wasn't just a match-up between lawyers. It was a match-up between nerd lawyers. [Just kidding, guys.] Cohen has been gracious enough to remind us that it is consistency that is the mark of a well-tested legal theory by losing for a second straight week.

This image has nothing to do with the rest of this post, but how could you not love this face?

[Holy crap. This takes a long time to do. Where are my monkey minions to help me?]

Tech Law Advisor v. Promote The Progress.
Tech Law Advisor: 101
Promote the Progress: 92

Coming back from a lackluster 59 point game, Tech Law Advisor celebrated his impending move to the Garden State (one of us! one of us!) and the birth of his second child with a victory over J. Matthew Buchanan's Promote the Progress. Buchanan was busy during most of the game, hanging out by the hand dryers in the mens' room.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

After all, I live in New Jersey.

"In case you haven't figured it out, TPB cracks jokes throughout this post because he knows jack s____ about football."

Unbillable Hours v. Actual Malice.
Unbillable Hours: 70
Actual Malice: 98.

Actual Malice whupped me. Whupped me good. Mostly, this is due to the fact that apparently I picked a bunch of backs and receivers that neither run nor receive. This usually means that you own the New York Jets (You want them, West Side? Take 'em.), but for me it meant that I had... Jerry Rice?! Going into Monday Night Football, I had 28 points. The remaining 34 points are due to Donovan McNabb. I choo-choo-choose you, Donovan!

"Daddy, when can I stop using the rubber sheets?"

Comments

[j-a]

what is going on here? i feel i just walked into a bear garden.

[TPB, Esq.]

Beer or Bear?